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She's my baby
abortive child
my miscarriage
the kind that draws a smile
She's my womb
a sperm with style
a foetus unborn to be wild

  Pale and divine
innocent and weak
endlessly frail
useless so to speak
Your lips are blue
eyes rimmed in black
I'm drawn to you
you're such a wreck

  She's growing stronger
it's obscene
licking her wounds was
my favourite routine
watching her heartbeat
on the screen
wondering if she'll turn nineteen
… or not
 

Mistakes are repeated
lessons ignored
I guess it's OK
as long as we're not bored
History is the finest whore
everyone comes back for more

Must we go down
on our knees again?
Must we be dumb
just because we can?

 
         


The last song recorded on DAT. Vain's very last vocal performance. Probably one of the most compelling songs he ever wrote. However, as blunt and direct as this song may sound at first hearing, it remains unclear as to whom it was dedicated to in the first place. There are no records to be found in the diary regarding the 'pale and divine wreck' that served as inspiration for the lyrics. If it is, in fact, an actual person. Apparently, Vain wrote two sets of lyrics for this song. He deleted the first version from the diary (it was written in pencil). Nevertheless, we managed to decipher certain parts of the text (right):

 

 

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